


A Second Chance

by Kathihtak



Category: Tokyo Ghoul
Genre: Amnesia, Cross-Posted on FanFiction.Net, Emotional Hurt/Comfort, Gen, Hurt/Comfort, Kaneki Ken | Sasaki Haise Has Issues, Kaneki Ken | Sasaki Haise Needs a Hug, Loss of Identity, Parent Akira Mado, Parent Arima Kishou, Post-Time Skip/Pre-Anteiku Raid (Tokyo Ghoul), Post-Tokyo Ghoul √A | root A, Psychological Trauma
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2018-08-25
Updated: 2018-08-25
Packaged: 2021-01-26 09:55:53
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 3,822
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/21372250
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Kathihtak/pseuds/Kathihtak
Summary: How the ghoul named Eyepatch became CCG investigator Sasaki Haise.
Relationships: Arima Kishou & Kaneki Ken | Sasaki Haise, Kaneki Ken | Sasaki Haise & Mado Akira
Comments: 2
Kudos: 47





	A Second Chance

He was greeted by darkness when he awoke. He didn't know where he was, but that didn't matter to him either way. He was hungry, no, he was starving. All he could think about was the blood curling starvation. Hearing the muffled voices in the dark, his hunger grew. Somehow, he associated those voices with food, even though they were unfamiliar to him.

"Its heart rate is increasing. Do you think it actually woke up after receiving injuries like that?" One of the unfamiliar voices spoke up.

It? They were referring to him like a monster or a creature, but none of it reached his recognition with the devastating hunger he was being overwhelmed with.

All that mattered was finding the source of this voice and devouring it.

It took him an awful while until he could slowly move his limbs.

He crawled towards the voice but was stopped by what seemed to be a wall. How would he be able to find the voice if he couldn't see anything?

"We should contact Special Class Arima. He wants to know when it wakes up." Another voice could be heard from the other side of the wall.

"Right away, Sir." The first one answered.

He heard what they said but was not able to comprehend it. The heart beats and the voices he heard meant that there was flesh for him to eat.

With all his strength, he tried to make his way through the wall by punching it repeatedly.

In his weakened state, his punches were merely soft knocks on the wall but he didn't give up.

He wanted to get to the other side. He needed to get there.

He didn't know how long he had sat there, knocking on the wall, not even leaving a scratch on it, when he heard a door open somewhere to his right.

He could sense someone stepping into the room, making him immediately crawl to the potential food source.

"Seems like I went a bit too hard on you, leaving only a pitiful weak creature that follows his instincts without thinking." The newcomer said calmly, not flinching before the ghoul that wasn't even able to move properly with all the injuries delivered to his brain.

He hadn't healed completely yet. There were still two deep, giant holes where his eyes were supposed to be.

Arima wasn't surprised to see the ghoul in such a miserable condition, wondering if he would ever be able to heal the whole damage. Maybe he would stay like that for the rest of his life, but the Special Class Investigator hoped the contrary would happen.

The young half ghoul had been such a bright mind, even if it had been more than stupid to engage a battle with the CCG's Reaper. Destroying his brain like that hurt Arima who would of course never admit that he thought like that.

The white-haired ghoul finally reached the investigator, slowly trying to grab his leg.

Arima simply took a step back, avoiding the ghoul's grip.

Shaking his head in disappointment over the young half-ghoul's state, the investigator left the cell.

After being left alone, the ghoul simply went back to punching the wall to reach the persons he had heard behind it.

* * *

"How is he?"

A week had passed since Arima had visited the ghoul formerly known as Eyepatch in his mindless state.

"Since he's been fed he recovered his eyes and probably most of his brain." One of the warden answered the Reaper's question.

"He's been sitting there for a while now, not speaking a word and not reacting when we talk to him through the speakers." Another guard continued, pointing at a monitor.

It showed Eyepatch's cell with the half-ghoul sitting in it. It looked like he was thinking about something, if he was even able to do so.

"I'm going in." Arima decided, heading for the cell.

"Are you sure, Special Class Arima?" The warden asked him, "Last time, he was barely able to move but now we don't know if he could be a threat. He is an SS-rated ghoul after all."

"And I'm the CCG's Reaper." Arima simply stated apathetic.

When he stepped into the cell, the ghoul shortly looked at him before returning to stare at the floor.

"I would have thought that you had to say anything to me since I'm the one that brought you here. Aren't you angry at me or sad that it ended like this for you?" The older man closed the door behind him.

Again the young ghoul turned his grey gaze at him. His eyes were much more innocent than in the fight against the Special Class Investigator, it was like he had no clue who the man before him was and what he had done to him.

"Do you understand what I'm saying?" Arima asked, checking if the ghoul was even able to comprehend. A week ago he certainly hadn't been.

The ghoul nodded slightly to show that he could hear and understand what Arima said.

"Then why aren't you saying anything? It's very impolite not to answer when someone is talking to you." The Reaper wanted to know what was behind those innocent grey eyes.

To his surprise the young man actually answered, "I'm sorry. I don't know how to talk to you since it seems like you know me but I have no idea who you are. I'm sorry for that too."

Arima noticed that he must have left some damage in Eyepatch's brain when he couldn't remember their fight. He wanted to test how far this amnesia reached.

"Can you tell me something about you?" He asked, feeling free to sit down on the single chair in the cell since the ghoul didn't seem to be hostile.

Eyepatch shook his head.

"You're probably never getting out of here so you might as well tell me something." Arima carefully watched the ghoul's movements.

"I would like to tell you something about me, but I don't even know my name. The last thing I remember is waking up, starving and with a horrible headache. I couldn't see anything so I think I woke up here in this room." The half-ghoul grabbed his head in despair, "Who am I? Where am I? How did I end up here? Why can't I remember?"

On his last question his voice cracked. Tears were falling on the sterile white floor.

"It's not the right time for you to know all of this, and I don't even know all the answers. If you don't cause trouble in here, I might consider telling you." Arima stood up, preparing to leave.

"Please tell me!" The boy took a leap towards the investigator, still crying in desperation. "Please, I need to know. At least tell me why I'm locked up in here." He begged.

"You're here because you're a threat." The Special Class Investigator simply answered, not giving away too much information.

He left without another word, leaving the shattered weeping boy clueless of how he could possibly be a threat.

* * *

This time, Arima hadn't visited Cochlea for two whole months.

There simply hadn't been any news about Eyepatch until now.

From what he had heard, the ghoul refused to eat which was more than uncommon. Usually, the prisoners of Cochlea weren't even fed regularly. Eyepatch had this privilege but was rejecting it.

Arima would be lying if he said that he wasn't curious about his strange behaviour.

When he visited the ghoul in his cell, he was sitting on the floor again.

The investigator could see the starvation in the ghoul's face. Normally, a ghoul in this state would instantly attack any human in sight which made it even more peculiar that Eyepatch was not even looking at his guest.

"Can I ask you something?" The ghoul asked after a while.

Arima nodded, again taking his place on the chair.

"I'm not human, am I?"

"How did you come to this conclusion?" Even though Arima knew about Eyepatch's amnesia, he would have thought that he at least remembered that he was a ghoul.

"I haven't drank anything since I got here but I'm still alive. And I feel this hunger, I can't even describe it." The half-ghoul explained.

"If you feel hungry, why aren't you eating what the guards are bringing you?" Arima followed up.

Eyepatch took a while until he could answer.

"I overheard them one time. They talked about how they obtained my _meal_. They said something about an unidentified man with seemingly no relations. They talked about the morgue. It wasn't hard to figure that it was human flesh." He stopped for a second, "The part that is actually scaring me is that it smells so amazing and I really want to eat it." He was obviously embarrassed about the last part. "I can't be human right? What human would eat another human's flesh?"

It was certainly the first time Arima saw a ghoul being disgusted of himself.

"You're right. You are not human. You're a ghoul and that is why you are here." Arima affirmed, waiting for Eyepatch's reaction.

At first, the boy wanted to ask what a ghoul was but the needed information suddenly popped up in his mind. He didn't know why he knew about that when he didn't even remember his own name.

A really sad smile appeared on his face, "Seems like I deserve to be here. I'm a monster."

"You said that you brought me here. Why didn't you just kill me?" It was a fair question. The CCG's Reaper wouldn't just let a ghoul live if he had the chance to kill him.

"Would you rather want to die? I didn't kill you because I thought that you could be very useful to humanity." Arima explained vaguely.

"Useful? What do you mean?" The ghoul was confused. Wasn't he just a killing machine?

"Since you are half human and possess some extraordinary powers, you brought me to the idea that half-breds like you can choose what side they are fighting for; humans or ghouls. I spared you life and told my superiors about my idea."

"I'm half human? But how is thi-" The boy was cut out by Arima.

"I'm giving you a choice. Your answer to my question will be final so be sure you don't have any second thoughts. Are you a ghoul that needs to be exterminated right away or are you a human, helping in the fight against monsters?" The investigator's voice was calm, not showing what option he would prefer. Killing Eyepatch or letting him live, it didn't really matter to him.

"I could live as a human?" The wishful look on the boy's face didn't went unnoticed.

"More or less. You wouldn't have to kill humans to survive."

The right answer seemed obvious for the half-ghoul but there was this voice inside his head, telling him he was a ghoul and that he shouldn't trust the investigator.

It wasn't the first time he heard said voice. In the last few days it had become louder and louder the hungrier he got. The voice was telling him to remember and to embrace his violent nature. Now that he knew that he was a half-ghoul, he finally understood what the voice had meant by that. He had the feeling that the voice had something to do with his former self and he tried to remember but in the end he was too afraid to face his past. He somehow knew that it would be really painful to remember and he didn't want to become a monster.

"I could help people, save them. I don't know what my former self would have done but I don't want to be a monster. I want to be human."

"So is this your final answer?" Arima reassured himself.

The half-ghoul nodded in agreement when his stomach growled.

"You should eat. The CCG has no use for you if you should go berserk because of your hunger." The investigator took a small package out of his pocket, laying it down before the hungry boy.

Instantly, Eyepatch's single kakugan activated and he tried almost as fast to cover it up.

"I'm going to discuss everything with my superiors so they can give their final agreement. Next time I return it will be for the start of your rehabilitation or your execution."

* * *

A few days later, Arima returned with the permission to turn the SS-rated ghoul Eyepatch into a tool for the CCG.

The young half-ghoul cowered in a corner of the cell holding his head. It seemed like he didn't notice the investigator.

"Please leave me alone," the boy muttered, "Go away. I don't want to be like you."

"Is that so? Does that mean you changed your mind about wanting to be human?" Arima was aware that the ghoul wasn't talking to him. The wardens reported that he had repeated these lines over and over for the past days.

Finally, the boy seemed to notice Arima.

"No, I-" He stuttered but he couldn't find the right words.

"Who are you talking to?" The investigator's voice was apathetic and he started writing something down on a small notepad.

The half-ghoul hesitated before slowly answering the question.

"There is this boy inside my head. He says that I have to remember who I am."

The investigator didn't comment on that as if he was waiting for the half-ghoul to continue.

"I think he is my former self, the monster. I don't want to become him again but I feel him becoming stronger. He says that I'm just an empty nameless shell without him. I am afraid." He stopped shortly. "I understand when you want to execute me on the spot before the other me comes back. I want to help you but I don't know if I can." He finished, muttering his last words.

"Haise Sasaki." This was the only thing Arima said after listening to the boy's concerns.

"What?" The half-ghoul was confused.

"This will be your name from now on. Your name is Haise Sasaki and if you pass the evaluation of the Main Office you will be trained to become the first half-human ghoul investigator of the CCG." He told him in a blasé way.

"But what if I'm going insane?" The ghoul was unsure about this opportunity.

"Then I'll kill you. Stand up and stop whining, Haise."

"Haise Sasaki." It seemed like he was trying the sound his new name.

Hesitantly, he stood up.

"Thank you for believing in me, umm. . ." Haise scratched his cheek, waiting for a response from the man in front of him.

"Arima. Kishou Arima."

* * *

Arima visited more often now and sometimes he even brought books to the half-ghoul.

Since the investigator gave him his name the voice in Haise's head became quieter and he was more than grateful for that.

They often had long talks about literature or anything else and it really did help improve Haise's mental state.

One day, Arima brought a woman with him who seemed to be just a little older than Haise himself.

"Arima-san!" The ghoul smiled and bowed politely, "I just finished the book you left me. It was really interesting. Thank you."

"You're welcome, Haise." Arima nodded before turning slightly to his companion.

"This is Akira Mado. She was sent to evaluate you." He introduced her.

"Hello Mado-san." Haise greeted politely.

She nodded without actually looking at him.

"Special Class Arima, can I talk to you outside for a second?" She asked before leaving the cell again, waiting for the other investigator.

"Of course." Arima followed her, leaving a very confused Haise.

"I don't know what they Main Office was thinking when they assigned me to this." Akira groaned as soon as the door closed.

"No, you know exactly why you're here." Arima simply stated.

"The Eyepatch was involved in the murder of my father and my former partner."

"And that's why you are perfect to evaluate him. If you come to the conclusion that he isn't dangerous then it must be true. Just give this boy a chance." The Special Class investigator argued.

"Ugh, fine. Let's get this over with."

* * *

"Are you alright?" Akira asked, holding a clipboard and a pen in her hands.

She sat in a small room near Haise's cell, only being separated from the half-ghoul by a small table.

Haise, who had constantly looked around the room until now, finally focused on her.

"I'm sorry, Mado-san. I have never left my cell before." He smiled shyly.

"Okay, are you ready to answer my questions?"

He nodded briefly.

"Your name is Haise? Where does this name come from?"

"Arima-san gave this name. I don't know how he came up with it but I think I like it."

"Why would he give you a name?"

"Unfortunately, I can't remember anything from before I was here." He had an apologizing look on his face.

"Really? Nothing?" She reassured herself.

"No, I'm sorry." She started writing something down.

"Did someone tell you why you're locked up here?"

"Yes. It's because," He paused shortly, "Because I'm a ghoul and I am dangerous."

"You are dangerous? So you don't think that this is in your past?"

"Even if I can't remember anything it doesn't change what I am. I think it would be foolish to think I wasn't dangerous."

"Do you think you can fight your own kind?"

Haise immediately noticed that this question was probably the most important.

"My own kind? This question is really cruel, Mado-san." He laughed slightly to get rid of the tension.

"I know it seems ridiculous to say but I want to be human, or well live a human life. I don't know how I became like this but I don't want to be a ghoul and as long as I have this human half I want to cling to it."

"Interesting." She simply stated, writing something down again.

She really wanted to hate him but he was just a boy. It certainly seemed that way.

But could he be trusted? How could she make sure that he wasn't lying about this whole amnesia thing? Although, she had heard what Arima did to him. Wounds like this didn't just disappear without leaving some permanent damage.

Maybe she should trust Arima's word and believed that Haise could be used as a weapon for the CCG.

"We're finished here" Akira decided before standing up and knocking at the door.

There was a clicking sound of it being unlocked and a guard opened it.

Arima stood behind him, waiting for both.

"So, did you come to a conclusion? You can tell me about it on or way out. Haise? Do you want to come with us?" Arima asked, shocking the younger investigator and the half-ghoul alike.

"You want me to come?" Haise asked.

"You want him to come?" Akira and the guard asked at the same time.

"If he acts out I think I should be able to handle him." Arima reassured the guard, glancing at his suitcase containing his quinque.

"Of course, Special Class Arima." The guard said.

"You can take off his handcuffs. If I'm correct he's still getting his daily dose of RC suppressants. If he posed a threat to me like that I would be a pathetic excuse for an investigator."

The guard hesitated before cautiously opening Haise's handcuffs.

The half-ghoul didn't move at first but when Arima seemed to wait for him before leaving the complex he quickly followed.

Would he be finally able to see the outside world?

Haise's hands shook in excitement.

After a few minutes, he could see the rc scan gates they had to pass to leave the prison.

The half-ghoul hesitated. How did he even know that these were scan gates?

He had never been here nor had he seen one of them.

It was just like the information about ghouls that just came to him as if it was a common knowledge like how to tie his laces.

After Arima and Akira had passed the gates they looked back, waiting for him.

"What are you waiting for?" Arima asked.

"Nothing. I'm sorry." Haise quickly stepped through one of the gates, expecting some kind of alarm to go off but nothing happened.

He didn't know how exactly the rc suppressants worked, maybe that was the reason why the gates didn't react to him.

Haise wanted to put more thought into it when he noticed that the two investigators were already at the entrance, again waiting for him.

He couldn't believe that nobody seemed to stop him.

He could see the daylight shining through the glass doors and in his opinion it was the most beautiful thing he had ever seen.

That was until he slowly stepped outside.

For any other person, the view would have been slightly depressing.

There was a large fence separating Cochlea from the rest of the ward. Everything was nothing but asphalt and high buildings, some military looking cars and a few transporter, most likely to bring new prisoners in.

But when Haise looked up to the sky he couldn't do anything but smile.

He felt the warmth of the sun on his skin and it was the most amazing feeling he ever experienced.

The large gate opened and a new transporter slowly drove onto the big plaza.

"Thank you for coming here with me, Rank 1 Mado." Arima politely said goodbye before turning back to Haise.

Akira briefly nodded before making her way towards the gate while the transporter passed the small group.

Arima wanted to say something when there was a loud bang coming from the passing vehicle.

Akira stopped only a few steps away from Haise and Arima, tightening the grip on the suitcase she was carrying.

It all happened really quick when the backdoors of the transporter suddenly flung open and someone or something jumped out of it, attacking the first thing he, or it, saw.

"Mado-san!" Haise acted solely on instinct when he rushed forward, pushing the investigator away from the threat.

A sudden pain erupted in his stomach before everything went black.

* * *

"Haise?"

A voice woke him from a dreamless sleep.

Slowly, he opened his eyes to see familiar light blonde hair.

"Mado-san?" He asked, confused by the situation.

Why did she look so kind?

"You're finally awake. It really took you awhile. They even had to stop injecting you suppressants so you could heal." She told him.

"Why?"

"Well, we couldn't just let an investigator die."

"Investigator?"

"I hate to admit it, but you really put your life on the line to save me. I helped them stitch you up a little bit so we're even now. Long story short, I considered your actions when I wrote my report. You aren't a monster.  
From this day on you are Rank 3 Investigator Haise Sasaki and part of my squad."


End file.
